The 5 Stages To Forgetting About a Girl
Written by Anthony Parkes on Ex-Girlfriends, Featured - Follow him on Twitter.
So your girlfriend dumped you. You are depressed, you took a huge blow. Everything you see is black, because you only picture your dead relationship.
Forgetting about a girl is difficult and tedious. We’ve all been through it. Time and tears will wear your despair, I promise. Over the years I’ve learnt that moving on is very similar to grieving: you lost a loved one. You mourn.
There are five stages of grieving. You inevitably experience all five as you get back up on your feet.
If you train yourself to recognize which phase you’re in, it can tremendously help you to forget your ex. You’ll be able to target the stage you’re in to move on to the next. Here are the 5 stages to forgetting about a girl:
1. Denial
Denial is the first part you face. This is when you refuse to acknowledge that it’s over. On the outside, you feel fine. Everything’s Okay. She dumped you, no big deal right?
But on the inside, you’re bottling emotions. You don’t fully realize what’s happening, because subconciously you refuse to. Being dumped knocked you so hard you’re out like a light.
2. Anger
You wake up from your dormant state. You start to fully grasp the situation. In this phase, you hate everyone, because you think it’s unfair. You ask yourself questions like:
- What did I do to deserve this?
- Why me?
- How can this possibly be happening?
You loathe the entire world because you reckon nobody can understand you. Your pain is too great for anybody to grasp. No one has ever been through this before.
3. Hope
Next, when you’ve soothed your aching heart, you try to get her back. Deep down, you know you’ll never get her back. But you try anyway, because you hope.
Naturally, you fail. She doesn’t love you anymore, she’s moved on since a long time ago. It hurts so much you enter…
4. Depression
Once you realize everything is lost, you enter the hardest phase. Despair surrounds you. Your heart is hard and cold, stone-like. You say things like:
- What’s the point?
- I’ve lost eveything, what more could happen?
- The entire world hates me.
- Nobody cares.
You have suicidal thoughts, or you imagine how others would react if you died. You are withdrawn from all forms of social activity. You lose friends. You blame your self-inflicted rejection on others, which makes you even more depressed.
5. Acceptance
Finally, after those four stages, you come to realize you’ve suffered too much. Life has to go on. You have a huge scar, but it’s slowly healing. You’re on the right road to move on :).
At this point you start considering your relationship as something past. You remember it, you learn the lessons it’s taught you.
Realizations
Once you’ve been through all chapters of the book, life progressively goes back to normal. You still carry emotional baggage, but you’re able to deal with emotions related to your relationship. Time has passed, you’ve swallowed.
Always remember relationships are like phoenixes: they sprout out of the ashes of the previous ones. The best tip I can give you is to never treat any relationship like it’ll be eternal. It hurts less, and you relish its moments more.
Images by confusedvision.
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Good article – I like your “model”. I think that the first part, denial, is very true.
Keep it up!
Hey Alex,
Thanks for the nice comment, I appreciate it :)
I just realized that “model” quite recently, and thought “wow, I’ve discovered something!” (I hadn’t of course…) It’ll help me a lot next time my heart gets shattered :)
Anthony
PS: I love your blog (you know that already…)
Great post mate, some people get so stuck in the ‘hope’ section that they simply move on. They don’t realise the world is abundant, especially when it comes to women.
Keep it up!
Cheers,
Glen
Thank you for the nice comment Glen, what you’ve pointed out is very true.