How I Got My Ex-Girlfriend Back
Written by Anthony Parkes on Ex-Girlfriends - Follow him on Twitter.
Getting your ex-girlfriend back is a bumpy road to take.
Today I’d like to share some 100% tested and rock-solid advice that helped me get my ex-girlfriend back. But before that, let me do some storytelling.
My Story – How I Got Her Back
One day, Sarah lost hope that things would get better between us. We argued a lot. She came over to me and said “I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways”.
At first, I didn’t blow up – I stayed in control. Ten minutes later I went back to her and begged her – I was emotional and desperate. Didn’t work. One of the worst things I ever did.
Day 1
The next morning, I remained solitary. I was sad, but I guess I didn’t fully grasp the situation yet. She, on the other hand, seemed to be going great.
At noon that day, I decided I was going to get a grip on myself. Look at the bright side of things. Have as much fun I could and hang out with my buddies.
I put the break-up in the back of my head and focused on myself and my friends instead. I actually had a hell of a time. I laughed a lot, and seemed so happy my friends wouldn’t recognize me.
Just as I was on the rise, Sarah hit an all-time low. She’s extremely skilled at hiding her emotions, so I was surprised. She was on the verge of tears. This comforted me and fueled my “happiness”.
We kept riding the emotional yoyo for about two weeks.
The Night I Got Her Back
I was feeling blue again, but I felt like I had changed. I felt like I had spent so much time whining, I didn’t realize how much I wanted her. I felt I was someone new now.
I went up to her and told her this:
I feel different now. I feel like it’s a new me. Listen, I finally found the key to our problem.
You know, we should give each other one last chance. Trust me, it’s going to work this time, and I want to prove it to you. We’ve got nothing to lose: I’m going great now, I feel more mature. If it doesn’t work, we’ll have no regrets.
She hesitated, but in the end she kissed me. She told me that we deserved one last chance. Things have never been better since.
How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back
Now it’s time to focus on you guys. First of all, not all break-ups are created equal:
- If you broke up because of a recurrent problem you two had, you stand a chance.
- If you cheated on her (you bad man), you might stand a chance.
- If she fell out of love with you (i.e. “I need space”) or was never really in love with you, you don’t stand a chance. Sorry.
Here are the key elements to get your ex-girlfriend back:
Don’t Get Your Hopes Up: Treat your relationship like it’s over – forever. No turning back. Do as much as you can to move on. Avoid talking to your ex, as that’s just plain bizarre given the situation.
Don’t Beg Her: Man, you’ve got to keep your dignity. Women stay with you because they love you, not because they want to make you happy.
Women hate wussy behavior, so get rid of it as soon as you can. You don’t need insecurity, you don’t need neediness. You don’t need to be with her, you want to be with her. An entirely different thing. If you beg her, you’ll help her move on :D
Look Back: Spend some alone-time and evaluate what the problem was between you. Did you have problems communicating? Were you too unavailable? Now look at why the problem was. It’s the why that killed you, and you have to reverse that. Running back to her without her trusting the relationship is useless. There has to be a reason for her to change her mind.
Grow: Break-ups are the moments you learn most about yourself, because you’re forced to face reality. Learn those lessons, and grow with them. That’s what life is about.
Be Optimistic: Look at the good side of things. Write down ten things for which you’re incredibly thankful. Remember them. A break-up is the start of something, not the end. Fill yourself with positivity.
It’s OK to Be Human: Don’t be too harsh on yourself, don’t regret anything. Focus on the lesson every “failure” has taught you. Live through your emotions. If you feel like crying, cry the hell out of your eyes. Don’t bottle anything, try not to suppress anything. If you feel the need of being depressed, then be depressed.
Focus on Something Else: Treat yourself, spend time with your pals, focus on your hobbies. These moments when you can empty your head of draining thoughts are real treasures. Use them wisely.
No Bullshit: If you want her back, go right up to her. She has everything to lose. You’re a new guy now, you’ve learnt the lesson, and you’re great fun. She’d be stupid not to want such a gorgeous guy like you. Give yourself one last chance, and after that, no regrets, and no turning back.
You Got Her Back… Now What?
Build attraction. Women doubt a lot when they get back with someone. They don’t know if they’ve done the right thing. The higher the attraction, the lower the doubts, the better the relationship. Focus as much as you can on building attraction.
Solve the problem. Be who you are, not who she wants you to. Unleash your reality and plug into you identity. Otherwise you’re a wussy, and women don’t like that, remember? Live with that new, amazing self you tapped into.
Be happy and appreciative, and all of a sudden you’ll realize she is too. Express, always.
We insist on making things so complicated by not expressing, not living, that it ends up strangling parts of our life. Smash through that, and start being who you really are. It makes life that much easier.
Image by Eduardo Amorim.
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Congratulations, man! You know what’s so funny? Me and my girl just got back together as well.
It’s crazy that no matter how many blog posts or books you read about keeping your composure, when the love of your life walks out, everything is moot. You try to do anything to get her back into your life, you don’t realize how stupid you’re truly acting.
What happened between us? She needed space.
I don’t think it’s hopeless if she ever asks for space. Girls, no matter who they are, act dumb time to time. Guys smother ALOT without ever realizing that they’re driving them nuts which gets girls to needing space.
“Falling out of love” essentially means “I’m getting bored.” All you gotta do is build attraction and make her remember why she fell for you in the first place. Like you said, girls aren’t here to only make you happy..you gotta do something in return. Give her the time of her life. Make her laugh and truly feel like spending time with you is better than anything else in the world.
In the event that she was never truly in love with you, well, that’s terrible. Girls will say a lot of bullshit however, and if you ever known anything about your girl, you can usually call BS whenever she says she never loved you or what not.
Guys need to look at the big picture and realize their mistakes. It’s easy to point fingers and say that she was being dumb and irrational, and while that may hold true, we also make a ton of mistakes ourselves. The only way we’ll ever fix em’ is if we admit to them in the first place.
Most never reach this stage because they just move on. It takes some work. You have to ask yourself if she really is worth it. For me, she most definitely was.
Interesting comment- congrats to you man!
I think men tend to forget to man up. They blame the break-up on X or Y. Here’s a message to guys out there:
It’s your ‘effin fault if she left you. Face it, and live with it. Never take her for granted, never stop building attraction – and she will never leave you.
Good to hear she was worth it. Now make it work and make her stick to you. Good luck and keep me posted!
Anthony
she like me but she loves other person and we had sex – whats the reason- Now i am became MAD,ready to do anything for my her, But she told me that she like me very much
Pls help me dear
Communication is always the key when it comes to things like this. My wife (girlfriend actually) and I hate tons of problems during the first 2 years and we still do now (not as much).
Now that we realize communication is the key, we always sit down to talk about things, which is great! :)
-Mike
Yep Mike, you guys got it all right. That’s the recipe to success in the long run: express fully ;)