How To Be Yourself Around Women and Stand Out From The Crowd
Written by Anthony Parkes on Confidence - Follow him on Twitter.
A common piece of advice I hear to get more girls is “be yourself”. I find it vague. How do you do to be yourself?
What’s "Being Yourself"?
I see these words used everywhere. It took me a long time to figure out a crisp-clear definition of “being yourself”. All around, being yourself is about having enough confidence to do anything you feel like doing.
If you do anything you feel like doing, you’re not surpressing any actions. Being yourself is hands-on confidence.
As a smart man, you know women love confidence. It’s a drug. It’s addictive. Women love men that act themselves. Here are three steps to push you that way.
1. Identify Your Fears
Fear is the sole element that’s keeping you from the chicks you deserve. Why? Unconfident guys fear the reactions people might have of their behaviour. They force themselves to act like people want to instead of how they want to.
Most guys in that situation lose their guts whenever women are around. They’re normal and cool with their friends, but girls make them candy-assed.
A quick example: A confident guy spots a hot girl, walks right up to her and both of them have a conversation. He ends up getting laid later that night. An unconfident guy doesn’t spark a conversation, because he was afraid of her reaction, and doesn’t get laid.
The unconfident guy was thinking:
- What will she think of me?
- What if I mess up and make an ass of myself?
- What will other people think if I mess up?
Generally, the question mousy men ask themselves is
What will others think? I want you to blast that questions out of your head.
You not being yourself ends up defining your character: you don’t act and don’t even realize you’re not. That’s because your brain batch-processes the acts you might do into two categories: Socially acceptable, and Not-so Socially acceptable. It becomes a habit, and your brain auto-flushes down the toilet moves in the second category . Society ends up owning you. Boo…
2. Fight Your Fears
A confident bloke and an insecure one think reversely. The insecure guy thinks he should play it by society’s rules. The confident guy thinks society should conform to him. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass of what the rest think.
Confidence is about attitude. Here are some quick tips to help you overcome fear (hat tip to Tina from Think Simple Now):
1. Do It Anyway – That’s basically courage. Confront the fear. Train yourself not to care what others think, otherwise you become their slave.
2. Think About It – Hang on there. Why am I not doing this? Educate yourself to see your fears, and you’ll realize most of them are absurd.
3. Worst Case Scenario – What could possibly go wrong? And if it does go wrong – no big deal right?
4. Imagine Yourself Conquering Your Fear – Positive Attitude does work. Imagine the glorious moment where you talk to that hot girl – and get laid.
5. She’s not going to bite you! – Seriously, what’s an 120 pound women going to do against a 250 pound man?
Once you’re able to recognize how society conditions you to behave “tame”, you can start behaving like you really want to.
If you want to magnetize women even more, here’s one last tip:
3. Stand Out From The Crowd
Now that you’ve found yourself, you can stand out from the crowd. To do so, add an element of uncertainty, of irrationality. Be unpredictable: women will be on their toes, and they love that!
Here are some tips to be the most thought-provoking guy around:
1. Build Your Charisma – Be insanely charismatic. That’s where you separate the sheep from the goats.
2. Be Sensitive – I didn’t say oversensitive or whinny. Be honest with yourself. Society doesn’t think we have any feelings, so show women the opposite!
3. Be Incredibly Funny – If you have a good sense of humor, use it to your advantage!
4. Relax! – Your goal is to be as virile as you possibly can. If you freak out, you’re not exactly manly, are you? Stay calm, calmness is very attractive.
5. Act Like You Don’t Care – This does miracles. She’s doing the chasing now, simply because you’re not. Women are used to guys being after them all day. If you don’t, it’ll separate you from the rest.
Identify your fears, fight them, and stand out from the crowd. This is your strategy, use it wisely.
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Hello Anthony,
It was fun to read your post since I used to be that shy guy that lost all his guts when any girl was around. Looking forward to see more posts from you on such a new blog!
Hi there,
Great job. But not enought info. Where can i read more?
Thank you
Hobosic
Hey Hobistic!
Thank you for the kind words! Here are some sites where you can get some additional tips on how to be yourself around women:
How to be Yourself (Wikihow)
Find the Confidence to Be Yourself
Hope that helps! Let me know if you need anything else ;)
Anthony
Great article, I think this touches on a problem that nearly every guy (at one point or another) struggles with. The key is to just do it! Easier said than done of course, but practice makes perfect.