How to Become a Flirting Maestro
Written by Anthony Parkes on Seduction - Follow him on Twitter.
Flirting is like making love with words.
Knowing how to flirt is one of the best ways to create attraction. There’s so much power and tension in flirting it’s magnetic.
Flirting is a game. Like any game, it has rules. We’ll explore the rules first, and then cover some flirting tips to make you a pro ;)
Last week, a great article was posted to teach you How to Be Mysterious and Attractive, go check it out first if you haven’t already!
How to Flirt – The Basic Principles
1. Flirting is similar to Hide and Seek. You and the woman have masks on, you’re hiding behind them. You know she’s hiding, and she know you are. You both try to make the other “give in” and take their mask off. This creates mystery and tension – which triggers the attraction.
2. Flirting implies physical proximity. Whether you’re touching each other or not, you’re physically close to each other. This adds up to the tension created by playing “Hide and Seek”
3. Flirting is a power struggle. Both of you are testing each other’s strength. The one that takes his mask off first, loses. As a man wanting to project confidence and dominance, it’s important not to.
4. The Flirting Maestro’s Weapon: Sexual Innuendos. You don’t flirt talking about your job or how tasty the lasagna you ate for lunch was. Flirting is sexual, but it’s subtle. There is never any direct allusion to sex. Sex is implied in open-ended statements or in double-meanings. Flirting Maestros know how to speak.
15 Tips to Become a Flirting Maestro
Once you know the rules, you can apply some flirting techniques to make the attraction ten times stronger. These tips will sky-rocket your flirting drive.
1. Strong Eye Contact – Eye-contact is essential because it allows you to read into her. It creates an immediate and strong bond between the two of you. Don’t look at her eyes, look into her eyes. You can also project confidence with eye contact. This is – by far – the most important tip to be a flirting king.
2. Break the Touch Barrier – Flirting is sexual, so incorporate physical contact. Brush her arm, or stroke her hair. Make it tender, and stay away from “sexual areas” – these kill the mystery, subtlety, and attraction.
3. Open-ended Statements – Use these as often as you possibly can. Mingle your word with double meanings and innuendos. This is all about being ambiguous and mysterious.
4. Don’t Give In – That means you have to stay in this atmosphere of sexual tension as long as you two can hold it. Don’t break any of these rules, or the atmosphere will vanish. You’re playing a game, so play by it’s rules.
5. Obvious Lies – Again, this technique is about playing hide and seek. In the middle of the convo, if she asks a question, make the answer totally irrelevant or fallacious. And make it obvious. That way, you’re confusing her, and frustrating her. Attraction and frustration are similar. Why? In both cases, you don’t get what you want.
6. Don’t Be Direct or Precise, Ever – Create as much mystery and tension as possible. Don’t ever say “Yes” or “No”. Learn to love “possibly” and “maybe” – these are your best friends now. Make her dig every single piece of information out of you. Nothing’s free, not even an answer.
7. Ask Leading Questions – Leading questions imply the answer. For example, “You live in L.A., don’t you?”, instead of “Where do you live?” – When used upon you, make sure you use rule #6 to answer, and fling the question right back at her.
8. Give the Convo a Sexual Twist – Keep in mind that flirting is sexual, so talk about sex, but don’t be crude. Stay light and evasive, subtlety is extremely important. Be mysterious by implying sexuality – double meanings are a great way. I find that being indirect about sex is a real turn-on for women.
9. Talk About Emotions – This allows the two of you to bond strongly. Discussing emotions connects you directly with the other’s feelings. This is very powerful, and makes flirting much more lively.
10. Use a Flirty Voice – Keep your voice down, like you’re telling her a secret. Even better, whisper in her ear. Give yourself a mysterious tone. Again, light and evasive is best.
11. Relax – No one likes a nervous guy. Stop fidgetting, stop looking down or away from her. Look at her straight in the eye, act confident, project confidence. Stay chilled dude.
12. Listen – Really listen to her, you have to be focused on her, 200%. Flirting works best in a quiet and intimate environment. Make sure all of your attention is on her and the convo.
13. Be Aware of Body Language – Project confidence, and watch for cues of sexual attraction:
- Playing with her hair
- Bending her head sideways
- Looking at your lips
- Wide pupils
- Smiling
- Slightly parted lips
Also look out for mirroring, which is when the other person adopts the same posture as you. For example, you put your hand on your lap and she promptly does the same – this is a great indicator of attraction.
14. Make it Slooooowww – Do everything extra slow. Speak slowly, move slowly. Even if there are blanks in the conversation, keep the eye contact going, and keep getting closer.
15. Get Close – Intimacy is created by physical proximity. You should be really, really close to her. Closeness allows you to feel the other’s presence – it’s totally immersive.
Do You Have Any Techniques to Share?
Sharing tips in the comments section would be awesome. If you’ve got any techniques to add, drop your two cents ;)
There’s a great article coming up on how to gauge attraction, and after that I’ll be giving tips on going for the kiss, so subscribe by RSS or email to get notified as soon as the article is published (it’s free!).
Painting: The Lovers by Magritte.
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The part about obvious lies is extremely important. Girls love exaggerations and ridiculous statements, providing they’re not random and inane. It’s almost guaranteed to get them to laugh, and we all know how important that is!
You pretty much covered it all. Good stuff!
Thanks a lot man! I appreciate it ;) see ya around!
I enjoyed this post very much. It’s my first time here and I actually found you through John Chow’s blog :) I think flirting for from men towards women isn’t how it used to be anymore.
Women seems to HATE guys that try it on them unless the female lady is one alone or with girlfriends at a nightclub or bar, which obviously means something :)
-Mike
Mike,
You have to gain her trust first. Hot women are used to creepy guys trying to pick ‘em up. So you have to find a way to surround that – she has to see you as a non-threat. I might write a post about it…
Anthony
Amen!
Well said:) Although I must add that this makes sense to me, because I know what’s going on, but to the total newbie or someone who doesn’t know how to flirt they may still need some real examples above the rules you have given.
Like you said, it’s about tension and chemistry, and when it’s on, both of you know it. You can pretty much turn anything sexual, its in the tone and body language, and once you get in that flirting state, its amazing how anything can be turned sexual.
Very nice blog you have here, spreading the methods how to become better with women:)
Until we meet again
Diggy
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