How to Stop Being a Wussy
Written by Anthony Parkes on Attraction, Featured - Follow him on Twitter.
Wussness, wussity, pussyness, whatever. You’ve all heard the love doctors say “stop being a wussy!” and “become a challenge!”.
A lot of ‘em will teach you what challenge is, but not how to stop being a wussy. Which is much harder. Challenge can’t be faked, it’ll come naturally if you stop being a wussy.
Wussies relate their own happiness to someone else’s. If you don’t want women to play you, you’re going to have to cure your wussness. You have to treat it like a disease to get rid of it. This is how you do it:
Wait a Second…What’s a Wussy?
A wussy has two major attributes:
1. Insecurity – A wussy always hang on the woman he is attracted to. The wussy constantly look for her approval, and acts on the basis of her response. Basically, the wussy will try to do anything to please the woman he likes. The wussy shows lack of confidence – extremely unattractive to women. You want to turn that around: the woman should be seeking your approval.
2. Neediness – A wussy gets sad or angry when the woman he likes doesn’t give him attention. He craves attention and affection. He is desperate for her to hang around with him all day long. No wonder she doesn’t – how boring’s a wussy?
Wussnes = More Wussness
A lot of guys start off being challenges, and as their interest in the woman they’re trying to attract increases, start being wussbags. What you must understand is that wussness is a major turn-off for women. Women need a secure, confident man that doesn’t need their approval. Let me say that again.
Women need a secure, confident man that doesn’t need their approval. Not a wussy.
So, guys gradually become wussies after falling head over heels for a woman: they seek more and more approval, time, and affection. This turns the woman off, and she gives less approval, time, and affection. Which causes the man to become even more insecure and needy, even more wussy-like.
Bad Bad Bad. She’ll eventually become so bored to death by his insecurity and neediness that the woman will leave the wussy for a manlier man. The wussy is rejected by the woman he wants – his insecurity grows.
Wussness = more Wussness.
How to Stop Being a Wussy, Step by Step
You must recognize first of all that a lot of the points I’m about to make will seem counter-intuitive, so you’re going to have to believe me – or see for yourself.
The road you’re about to take is bumpy, but everybody can do it. It takes a lot of perseverance, strength, and will. It’s a constant battle. You’ll need a great deal of instrospection. Here we go…
Step 1: Looking Back and Discovering your Inner Wuss
Realize all the wussy mistakes that you’ve made. Laugh about those mistakes, don’t despair about ‘em. Imagine what a challenge would have done, and compare that to what you did.
This will allow you to recognize your wussness. Realizing your insecurity and neediness will also motivate you to stop being a wussy – and you’re gonna need a hell of a lot of motivation.
Step 2: Build Confidence and Self-Esteem
Insecurity = Lack of Confidence
If you think you’re a piece of shit, others will to. Guaranteed.
You might want to change that if you want to build attraction. Start building confidence and self-esteem today, it’ll increase your potential in anything you wish to pursue in life. Read these:
- Confidence column from Con.structed.org
- The Art of Building Self-Esteem
- How to Build Self Confidence
Step 3: A Fresh, Green Start
To stop being a wussy is a long term effort. Accept that your woman’s interest in you won’t change over night. Look forwards at all times: there will be moments of doubt, moments where you feel all your efforts are useless.
Look at yourself with a new eye, and break free from your limited beliefs.
Never freeze on or over-analyze a situation or response. Become an optimist, look for a lesson and the good in every situation. Keep track of progress and make a list of everything showing improvement. These links will help you:
- Change Your Mindset and Instantly Become an Alpha Male
- How to Be Positive
- Empowered Quotes – Inspirational quotes about hapiness, motivation, negativity, etc…
- Optimistic Quotes
- How to Quiet Your Mind – and stop over-analyzing.
- 6 Steps to Eliminate Limited Beliefs
Step 4: Stop Being Too Available!
Don’t let her end dates, conversations, etc… You are in control, you decide how long you talk to each other, how long you see each other. Even if you don’t have anything else to do, invent an excuse.
Why? If you’re too available, you’ll lose value, and to build attraction, you must create value.
If you stop being too available, it’ll also show you have other things going on in life apart from the woman you’re interested in. It shows independance, instead of neediness. Major point-scorer.
Step 5: Tease, tease, tease
Women (especially attractive ones) are always testing you, to see how much interest you have. Example:
Her: “Hey, look at my new dress! Isn’t it gorgeous?”
Wussy: “Wow! You look amazing!”
Man: (smiling, or with a light tone) “I don’t care…” (Important note here!)
Make fun of her as often as you possibly can. If she gets offended (hits your arm, says you’re mean), keep doing it! Just keep it light, or you’ll look like a jerk. Somewhere between the wuss and the jerk is the unpredictable guy – that’s what you’re looking for.
Read How to Be Funny and Top 10 Ways to Tease a Woman.
Step 6: Be Unpredictable and Mysterious
David DeAngelo taught me to never give women a direct answer, unless it’s a “no”. Make her dig every single bit of information out of you, and only if you allow her to.
Alex Kay likes the “two step forward, one step backward” technique.
Over to You
Of all the advice available, it’s hard to separate crap from gold. I’ve found David DeAngelo’s “Double Your Dating” Ebook extremely valuable to teach you how to stop being a wussy and attract women – grab it today!
I hope my advice was useful to you guys! Feel free to ask for help or share success stories in the comments section below. Cheers!
Images by Lst1984 and fmc.nikon.d40.
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Your articles make me see what i already knew but couldn’t see without reading them first.
Keep them coming!
Thanks Bruce, I appreciate the kind words! More to come very soon, I promise ;)
Anthony, I really need to thank you for this article. I was feeling rather down today (of course, because of a girl) and this thing gave me a good laugh, cheered me right up. Very valuable advice here, I plan on reading this a few more times in the coming weeks just as a reminder to stay on the right track when it comes to women.
Yop, you’re welcome guys. As I’ve said before, I’m here to help ;)
Remember that this is long term and you won’t destroy your inner wuss over night…
Cheers ;)
I love a lot of the stuff you’re saying here Anthony… But (sorry!) I think you
take some of the “concepts” too far. Like your example with the dress in step 5.
There’s nothing wrong with saying that you like the dress and that she looks
absolutely gorgeous in it… Unless you A) either don’t mean it or B) do it to
gain her approval. There’s no need to be rude :-)
Your step 3 is pure though. Good job.
Alex
Alex,
Nice “criticism sandwich”, I like seeing people using that!
Now what I’ve written reads very badly, but I stress the “light tone”.
It doesn’t sound rude, it sounds witty. It doesn’t sound like you don’t care, it sounds like you do but you don’t want to tell her… yet. It sounds like you’re keeping up the stuff she needs (i.e. your approval). Hope you get me on this one ;)
Anthony
Very comprehensive post! I also like the stuff by David D. as well. He’s a brilliant guy.
The biggest mistake is that they’re just so available! Guys need to stop being there and give women the chase they want.
This is so true… and sad! I see guys making the same mistake over and over again – doing everything the woman wants when she wants.
Men need to let women do at least part of chasing…
i had a friend once tell me that I was trapped in a box and all I needed to do to see a different reality was to step outside of it. (This was 1991 and I was 17. It was before the term became a pop culture blowout reference.)
The ability to always imagine myself stepping out of my zone of comfort led to many amazing adventures.
Bakari,
That’s a very powerful realization. Stepping out of your comfort zone is extremely important to live a meaningful and powerful life. Thanks for this nice addition to the discussion!
See you around ;)
Anthony