The Vicious Circle of Insecurity and How To Break It
Written by Anthony Parkes on Confidence - Follow him on Twitter.
Two case scenarios:
Case #1: The Insecure Guy
Imagine an incarnation of insecurity. This guy enters a restaurant, and spots a hot woman. Dozens of questions rush through his mind, his heart pounds the hell out of his chest.
He talks to her. His voice sounds as insecure as he is. Hesitations, too many of ‘em. A childish, ear-to-ear smile glued on his face.
The girl disdains him. “Another idiot who has a crush on me, how boring…” Wrong first impression. He will try hard to be nice to her, fulfill every wish she has. He will never get her.
He takes a bash from this woman. He thinks: “I can’t do this. No one will ever want me. I guess that’s just the way things are… some men are lucky, others aren’t.”
That guy just multiplied his insecurity by 10.
Case #2: Alex Kay a.k.a The Confident Guy
Alex Kay bumps into a beautiful girl. He buys her a drink, and plays fun games with her. “Wow, how exciting he is! How charming!” Laidback Alex doesn’t care what she does, or how she reacts. He’s got everything to offer, and nothing to lose.
Right before they part, she stuffs a piece of paper into his hand . You can see a scribbled phone number on it. Heck, he didn’t even ask for it! He’ll call her in a week’s time, when he feels like it. Immediate date.
Alex Kay just multiplied his confidence by 10.
Insecurity Breeds Insecurity. Confidence Breeds Confidence
Men’s confidence depends on women. The insecure guy stays that way because he is rejected by women. It all goes in an endless circle.
How do you transform a vicious circle into a virtuous circle? How do you get to confidence nirvana? It’s simple: it takes courage, and guts. You’re going to have to want it, real bad.
How To Break the Vicious Circle of Insecurity
1. Breathe – Be calm. Pull yourself together. Breathe slowly, and steadily. Great confidence boost, use it!
2. Eye Contact – Essential if you want to project confidence and melt her heart. Look her dead in the eye. That’ll make her uncomfortable and improve your confidence.
3. Recognition – Missing this chick is no big deal. You’ve got 3 billion others to chose from.
4. Talk – Let her do the talking. Women talk a lot. Better, they often talk about things that embarrass them. What a great opportunity to tease her!
5. Trust your own judgement and use your voice to project confidence.
6. Time Alone – Spend some time after she left to assess how the date went. What could you have done better? What did you do right? What did her body language tell you? This will blow your confidence levels through the roof ;)
Image by piotr.amigo.
Other Great Articles You'll Like
Like this article? Constructed provides weekly men relationship advice. Join in by Subscribing! (What's that?)
Did you mean to spell that brake? If not, then you meant “break”
Cin,
Thanks for pointing that out! I can’t believe I even made that typo!!!
Anthony